


The Perfect Pumpkin

by jessahmewren



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Autumn, Challenge Response, Established Relationship, Fluff, Freddie is so into this, Jack-o'-lanterns, M/M, Multi, No one else is really, Poly!Queen Week 2019, Pumpkins, Road Trips, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, but they all come around eventually, especially Roger Grumpy Pants Taylor, warnings for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-10-28 04:37:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20772659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessahmewren/pseuds/jessahmewren
Summary: Freddie and the boys take a trip to a pumpkin patch on a search for the perfect pumpkin.





	The Perfect Pumpkin

**Author's Note:**

> Poly!Queen Week Day 5! Carve a pumpkin! I'm in an autumn sort of mood, and I hope you are too. I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it loves! <3

-0-0-0-

Freddie laid on the horn. Having been the first one in the van all dressed and ready, he expected the others to be just as prepared and excited to go to the pumpkin patch as he was. 

He beeped the horn again, this time with a little more enthusiasm. 

“Come on, darlings! We’re going to be late!” 

Brian stuck his head out of the flat, still buttoning his shirt. “The bloody thing doesn’t close until five, Freddie. What are you going on for about being late?”

“To get the choice of the best pumpkins, of course! All the good ones will go early,” he whined. 

Brian cursed under his breath, then muttered, “we’ll be down in a minute.” 

When they finally piled into the van, Freddie’s excitement was nearly infectious. “I’ve read all about it,” he turned to the other two as Brian drove. “There’s going to be cider and an old country store and even a hayride!” 

Roger turned a bit, staring out of the window in his dark glasses. He’d had to rush his hair routine, and he was quite cross. “What the fuck is a hayride?” 

Freddie stopped for a moment. “I’m…not quite sure,” he said. “But it sounds delightful.” 

John frowned. “Well I’m not mounting a bale of hay. For you or for anyone, love.” 

Freddie’s face fell. “I’m sure that’s not what it means…” 

Brian sighed. “Let’s all just have a good Saturday, ok boys? And pick out a nice pumpkin.” 

Freddie found his fire again. “Oh, we’re going to pick out the most perfect one, Brian. Flawless…not a spot on it. Round and plump and just the right shade of orange. God, I can’t wait!” 

Roger groaned. “I don’t understand why we have to go all the way out here just to get a pumpkin. Why can’t we just go to the bloody market? They’ve got them on sale for Christ’s sake.” 

Freddie turned around so he could look at where Roger sat pouting in the backseat. “It’s because it’s fall,” he explained like he didn’t know. “And this is where the pumpkins are born, Roggie. We get to pick them out ourselves, straight from the patch. It’s much more exciting that way.” 

Roger rolled his eyes, but Freddie couldn’t see it. “I guess.” 

John reached over and linked hands with Roger, who managed a small smile. “Just try for him,” John whispered when Freddie had turned back around. “He’s so excited.” 

Roger sighed. “I know. But I’m not mounting a bale of hay, either.” 

\---

It was, Brian had to admit, rather beautiful. The farm was decorated in opulent décor, deep burgundy and yellow flowers adorning the perimeter of a split-rail fence where beautiful sparkly orange and gold ribbons were strung among the posts. The grounds were impeccably kept; there were strategically placed wheelbarrows spilling over with fruits and nuts, others with flowers, and swings for adults and kids alike hanging from the tall oak trees. 

It looked like a storybook. 

Freddie’s eyes were large as he stepped out of the van. He looked around, eyes sparkling at the wonders around him, the scene pulled into tight focus by the clear sky and the crisp, lovely fall weather. 

John kissed his cheek, breaking him from his spell. “Is it all you thought it would be sweetheart?” 

Freddie nodded slowly, a gentle smile spreading on his face. “I hardly know what to do first.” 

Roger slipped an arm around his waist. “Why don’t we start with tickets love? Unless you want to stand and look." 

They went into the general store and purchased their tickets, giving them full access to the pumpkin patch grounds, the hayride (which they were still unsure about), and other features of the farm, and continued to walk around inside. It was just as beautifully decorated as the outside, looking like a rustic dream. They were selling jams and jellies and other homemade goodies, and Freddie wanted to buy everything he saw. 

They finally pulled Freddie away from the wares inside the general store and they all stood rather unsure of what to do next. “Lead us Freddie. You’re sort of the expert here,” Brian said. 

Freddie looked at the little map he’d picked up. “Let’s do the gem mining!” he said as he led them in that direction. They passed food vendors and picnic tables, the smells wafting from the trucks almost making them stop before lunch. 

They arrived at the attraction, a small sluice with mud and rocks at the bottom. They were all given boxes so they could pan for precious gemstones, which they were told were actually among the silt. 

About five minutes in, Brian found an amethyst. A moment later, Roger found a piece of crystal. He laughed. “This is rather fun,” he said with a smile. 

John concurred. “I’ve found three stones so far. A ruby even. What about you Freddie?” 

“Five, darling! I could do this all day.” 

The other three smiled at each other, pleased to see him so happy. Indeed, they were all having fun, and not just for his sake.

They gave their stones a final rinse and decided it was time for lunch, so they wandered back to the picnic tables nestled among the food trucks to discuss their choices. 

“I say we break off and sample a bit of everything,” John suggested. “There’s all kinds of things here that you wouldn’t normally get.” He paused. “Wait, where’s Roger?”

Roger suddenly appeared, his arms loaded with food. His eyes were bright beneath his shades. “I love this place!” he said as he set his wares on the table. “Look at this caramel apple. And this thing…they call it a funnel cake…it’s just fried dough dusted with sugar. And this,” he gestured to a little tray with a golden brown object that none of them could identify. “It’s a deep fried Oreo,” he said excitedly. “You know, the cookie? The mad chaps actually batter it and plunge it in hot grease! Amazing.” 

Brian looked ill as Roger took a bite, his eyes fluttering closed in pleasure. 

“I think I’ll have a salad,” he said.

\---

“I’m ready to ride the hay.”

Everyone looked at John with a mixture of shock and amusement, seeing as they’d just had a full meal and he was the one who had expressed trepidation about the hayride in the first place. 

Brian cocked an eyebrow. “Are you sure? The schedule says it leaves in three minutes. We would have to get in line now.” 

John nodded. “If you all are.” His face went serious. “I want to do it.”

None of them knew what to expect, but when a large covered truck pulled up with hail bales on the back, it wasn’t that. 

“Ok gents, climb aboard!” the driver said. 

They all looked at each other and shrugged as they settled themselves on the square hay bales, using them as seats on the back of the truck. 

So this was a hayride. 

The driver took them through beautiful fields of sunflowers, a tour guide riding with them explaining the history of the farm, how different crops grow as they passed them, and even various ghost stories as they passed through a particularly spooky part of the woods. 

The boys cuddled up together using a blanket the tour guide provided and enjoyed the stories and scenery. With the warm press of his boyfriends around him and the crisp wind in his hair, John decided that he really liked hayrides. 

Then, as the truck rounded a curve, Freddie could see them…varying shades of orange and green dotting a hillside. The truck shuttered to a stop and the boys climbed out, and Freddie knew the time had come to pick his pumpkin. 

Brian came up behind him, resting his hands on his shoulders. “Well darling, what do you think?” 

Freddie reached up, squeezing his hand. “They’re beautiful Bri,” he breathed. “I can hardly wait.” 

“Go get one love,” John whispered as he came up beside him. “Go get the perfect pumpkin.” 

Freddie ran off as the other three joined to watch him make his way between the pumpkin vines, soft smiles on their faces. 

It wasn’t long before Freddie found it…round, plump, shiny, not a mark on it. Freddie had the pumpkin in his arms, walking back to the boys, when something caught his eye. It was sitting all by itself; all the other pumpkins around it had already been chosen. It was dirty and leaning to one side, the deformed bottom preventing it from sitting properly. It was more of a sherbet color than a true orange, but Freddie’s heart went out to it all the same. Gingerly, he set down the perfect pumpkin and picked up the newfound one. 

“I got one!” he said as he made his way to the boys. Freddie was coming toward them, holding a pumpkin aloft proudly so they could see it. 

Roger squinted down at the bulbous monstrosity in Freddie’s arms, his nose wrinkling. “Blimey,” he croaked. “Is that it?” 

John elbowed him in the ribs, and he grunted.

“It’s really something,” Brian said thoughtfully.

“Good job Freddie. It’s uh…got a lot of character,” offered John. 

Freddie beamed. 

\---

When the boys got back to their flat, Freddie sat their pumpkin on the table. Roger tossed his shades on the bar, sparing a glance at the little pumpkin. 

“Cover it with something Freddie…that thing is looking at me.” 

Freddie frowned. “Don’t be so cross. “You’re about to take the guts out.” 

Roger whined. “Why me!?” 

“You’ve got the smallest hands love,” Brian said, smiling. “And you know Freddie doesn’t like to get anything under his nails.” 

Roger whimpered again, and John laughed. “Let me at least wipe it off for you love. And cut the top?” John sliced a neat circle in the top of the pumpkin while Roger found a large spoon and a bowl. Meanwhile, Freddie was looking for a candle for the pumpkin. 

John popped the stem off the top of the pumpkin and looked inside. “Eww,” he said, making a face. “It’s all yours Rog.” 

Roger peered down into the pumpkin and grimaced. “Freddie, I must really love you.”

He plunged the spoon down inside and scooped out the seeds. He looked up, blond hair falling in his face. “It’s not all coming out.” 

Freddie waved his hand in encouragement. “Put your hand in there sweetheart. Pull it out with your fingers.” 

Roger looked at Freddie murderously as he plunged his hand into the pumpkin.

“Oh God, it feels like lube!”

John began laughing. “Since when have you ever minded a little lube on your fingers?” 

Roger rolled his yes. “Fuck off, John.”

John continued flipping through the magazine he was reading, a wry smile on his face.

Roger finished scooping the seeds until the inside was all cleaned. Brian walked by, examining what came out of the pumpkin. 

“Need me to dispose of this love?” 

Roger only nodded, wiping the sweat from his brow with the clean skin of his arm. He crossed to the sink to wash his hands, only to feel Freddie’s lips on his neck. “Guess who’s being taken care of tonight,” Freddie whispered, causing Roger to smile and lean into his touch. 

“Who?” Roger asked coyly.

“Mmm, you are,” Freddie replied, his hand going down to caress his bum. “But first I’ve got a pumpkin to carve.” 

Roger laughed, shaking his head.

Freddie settled himself in front of the misshapen pumpkin, trying to get the proper angle. The boys gathered round him, trying to see what he saw. 

“What about…here,” Brian said as he pointed to a particularly lump free spot on the pumpkin. 

“Mmm, maybe,” Freddie said. “I thought I could put the eyes here.” 

“Have you decided what kind of face? Happy, goofy, scary?” John asked. 

Freddie smiled up at them from where he sat at the table. “Happy I think. I think this little pumpkin is happy to be home with us, don’t you?” 

He made the first cut, and soon the face started to take shape. 

They’d picked up a recipe for cider at the farm, and John started some on the stove. Soon, the rich aroma of spice and apples was filling the flat. 

Roger sat a mug in front of Freddie. “It doesn’t look like the same pumpkin at all, love. How did you do that?” 

“Simple,” he said as he beamed with pride. “I just showed it a little love.” 

Brian smiled, dropping a kiss onto his head. 

“Why did you pick this one darling?” 

Freddie drummed his fingers on the table, smiling shyly up at them. 

“It’s a misfit, just like us. And that makes it perfect.” 

John joined them, his own mug of cider in his hand. “Indeed it does my love. Indeed it does.” 

-0-0-0-

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is @jessahmewren. Come say hello!


End file.
